Last night I talked to Raoul on the phone. With all the uncertainty in my life, I asked him to please call Kevin Groelly (the landlord) to make sure that we are all right to stay in the house through the end of August. Asking for it to be a three way phone call was my idea of giving the conversation validity, you know, some reassurance that he's not lying. Some very real anxiety is really starting to eat at me. I need reassurance.
School is starting next week for me; back to teaching full time. I'll officially be a single working mom with five children. The oldest, 16 will be a Senior, the 11 year old is starting junior high, the 9 year old is starting at a new school, the 5 year old will be starting kindergarten and the nanny will be coming back to start watching the one year old again. We just lost "the love of my life" and the kids near "step dad." Acts of violence have shaken us, our sense of security's been shot.
Looking for a new place to live is stressful enough without adding that our lives are full of major changes to boot.
I know I am the one living this, but it is completely surreal to me. I feel like I am watching a bad Lifetime movie, except that this has more twists and turns...and the plot is not so easy for me to figure out. (Boy, would I just love to know how it all is resolved!) It's like watching an Oprah episode and yelling at the screen, "Hey, lady, really?! I mean, really? You just didn't notice that?"
I've always watched those talk shows where they have women explaining that they didn't know that the guy they were with was psycho with some incredulous mixture of sympathy and disdain. How could they be so blind? All the signs were there!
And wow, that's me. It's really me.
So, with my living in the third person, switching between denial, duty, victim mentality, and dead-on desire to ensure he gets consequences for ruining our life and causing such upheaval...
I ask politely.
"Raoul, a cerified letter notice came to the door. I don't know what it is but it's waiting at the post office..."
I continue to explain that since, of course, Kevin said he was thinking about physically harming me (quoted), could he please contact them to reassure me that we are not being evicted by August first? Obviously, I'm not fired up about contacting him myself. Enough said.
Here's Wendy Groelly's text message from Wed. July 15th, 7:37pm
This has gotten really ugly as u said before on Facebook your (sic) moving out. Can u be out by the end of the month? We have done everything we can for u it's time to part ways
A nice threat and a request to leave with only two weeks notice is enough, I think, to be nervous about.
Raoul replied with "No, I'm not going to do it." Asking why only made it worse. He claimed he didn't feel like it. Then, going back and forth with the clicking, claimed that Kevin called him and said it was fine, but I simply didn't hear it. I asked if he could do it again, then I could hear Wendy, but Raoul just kept going "hello? hello?"
Now, I know darn well that he is very proficient with phones and computers, but the three way call seemed to elude him. We ended up arguing.
Why? Because I am dumb. I should have hung up.
I did let him know how disgusted I was, that I didn't believe him one bit, and couldn't believe that he couldn't get this simple thing done to put my mind at ease, especially since he claims to be in love with me, hoping to come home some day, and making his life right.
How can this be asking too much?
Anyways, I'm just sick to my stomach about all of it.
Today I did get an email from Wendy:
| From: |
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| Subject: | Re: Rental agreement | |||||
| Date: | Wednesday, July 29, 2009 7:59:29 AM [View Source] | |||||
| Reputation: | No information. Show details | |||||
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Hi ***** I talked to Raoul and he is paying rent for Aug. So you don't need to be out until Aug.29th. Thanks.
Ok. Well, now I know. Thanks Raoul. Thanks.
Still sick to my stomach though.
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